Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
