So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
