umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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