I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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