thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
