either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
