The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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