yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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