We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize