Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
