apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
