The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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