shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
