I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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