I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
