I think my vagina is haunted
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
