yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bring me that man meat
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
