wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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