if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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