i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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