I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
