playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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