i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize