So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
