i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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