1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
