how can u be prego again
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
