Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
