you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
