He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
