im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
