I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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