Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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