bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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