I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
