I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm always down for nudity.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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