Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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