When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
