I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
