he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I want is dick and wine.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
