He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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