just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
