It's like God shit irony all over that family
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
