I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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