My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
