At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You dont lie about slip and slides
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
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