And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
