Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize