You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
