She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
