i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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