He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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