But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
