you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
