it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
