marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Im at strip club and am horny
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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