I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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