I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
