Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Semen is not good for contacts.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
