Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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