you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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